Mr. Cameron Rose's Sports Blog

Tryouts are tomorrow. I doubt that I will sleep well the next few nights. It may be park league but I take this seriously. If I mess up my first picks, that could mean the difference between my ulcer returning or staying away.
When there are tryouts, I try to get there exceptionally early to see which parents are hanging out, how they treat there kids, how husbands treat their wives. I don’t want an asshole telling me what to do. Since the parents usually have no idea that a 24 year old is coaching, I like to be the first one in the gym. I let my brother play on the swings so he doesn’t draw attention to me. The parents usually have no idea that I am a coach. Those that do are usually the ones that I have coached football with or against. There is usually only 10 or so kids that have played football out of the 80 that sign up so no one really knows me. I should add that another 5 or so know me from schools that I have worked at.
It is very important to me to know how the parents act. As a coach, I hate to bad-mouth parents that I have coached but I have had some really bad parents, even on the teams that I had that were highly succesful. I may be a great coach but I know that I have the personality of someone that can be easily taken advantage of. I am aware of this and don’t want to pick a bully. My favorite (by saying this, I mean least favorite) type of parent to deal with is the former coach. He knows everything and parcitipates in every practice yet refuses be your assistant coach because he is too busy but in reality he thinks that he is too good enough to be an assistnant coach, he even shows this despite saying differently. He talks shit behind your back to other parents despite smiling to your face. Your nicer parents tell you what is going on but if you confront him, he will get pissed and take his kid off your team. This would be great and you would have one less asshole on your team except for the important fact that his kid was your first draft pick, which means he is the best player on your team. If you lose this kid, your team can count on not making the playoffs and if your team is not competitive then you risk the other parents turning on you.
I may be 24 but as you can see, I am obviously a veteran of coaching youth sports.

Below is the first in a series of fictional entries that I will post regarding coaching youth basketball. Most of this is based off of my experiences as a youth basketball coach.
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It’s that time of year. Flag football season is over and basketball season is about to begin. We are talking park league basketball and football of course, where the parents are the coaches and run the show. I, of course am the exception, the new blood so to say. I am a 24 year old, with no desire to deal with middle aged men playing political games. I am here because I love to coach kids, need something to do while I am unemployed, and want to be a good role model for my little brother who I will be coaching this year.
My little brother, Nick is moving up an age group from 10-11 to the 12-14 group. That is like moving from boys to men. This is only his 2nd year player basketball. Nick is still a boy, heck a 9 year old can beat him in a one on one basketball game. Nick is what you would call a runt, he has always been one of the smallest kids on his teams.
I am coaching Nick this year because his team last year went 1-19. He didn’t get that much playing time, but he did get some because it is required in park league that you play everyone at least half the game. He didn’t always play half the game, but what can you do? What I can do is coach my brother while I have the time.
I personally hate coaching basketball. I have only coached it once before and that was with friends. I was an assistant coach and even then, I wasn’t a coach as much as I was an extra practice body. I got to be the head coach for one game because my friends/co coaches wanted to take a trip to Vegas. I am not a gambling and drinking type so I elected to stay and coach the team. I won that game but I believe it was more because I had a great team and not because I am a great strategist. That team won the championship for our age level. I may not give myself credit but I am proud of that accomplishment. But why do I hate coaching basketball? I am 6 and a half feet and everyone assumes that I am this great basketball player. Everyday I get asked: “Do you play basketball?”
“No, I am a fucking teacher.” is what I think to myself.
Anyway, I am sure that you are thinking to yourself: “So does he play basketball?”
Yes, I do play basketball. I play it at the park occasionally. I am even good enough that a Lakers scout once told me to go to an open tryout for a CBA team. I never did but that is because I know I would fail the physical. I suffer from an extremely bad back. I have scoliosis and something called pectus excavatum (Look it up on wikipedia). How does my pectus excavatum affect me, if gave asthma.    
I am a great football coach. I have accomplished everything a flag football coach can do (City championship, Park league champions multiple years, undefeated teams). It is time to move on to something that is more challenging to me because I can’t get a job as a flag football coach. If you want to hire me, look up my contact info.
So back to the reason why I am writing this: to cover my basketball coaching adventures. Tryouts are Tuesday and Saturday. Draft is Sunday or Monday depending on what the park director decides.